What to Do When Your Adult Child Won’t Follow House Rules

When an adult child moves back home, most parents expect some adjustments. But when

your child repeatedly ignores house rules—no matter how many conversations you’ve had—the situation can quickly become stressful and emotionally draining. The good news: you’re not powerless. You can restore order and respect in your home with the right approach.

First, recognize that ignoring rules is often a symptom of unclear expectations, inconsistent follow-through, or a blurred parent–adult relationship. Many adult children fall back into “teenager mode” the moment they return home, while parents slip into old patterns of accommodating or avoiding conflict. The result? Repeated rule-breaking and rising resentment.

The first step is resets boundaries—not through another emotional talk, but through a calm, structured conversation. Clearly outline the rules of the home, why they exist, and how they support a functional household. This includes expectations for chores, noise, guests, rent, shared spaces, communication, and respect.

But clarity alone isn’t enough. House rules without consequences are suggestions, not boundaries. After the rules are defined, you must also define follow-through: What happens if the rules are broken? Consequences don’t have to be harsh—reduced privileges, financial contributions, or access limitations can work—but they do need to be consistent and predictable.

This is where a written behavior contract becomes especially valuable. Verbal rules leave room for reinterpretation, but a signed agreement removes ambiguity. It also shifts responsibility from constant parental reminders to the adult child’s own accountability. The written format keeps the relationship calm, factual, and fair.

If your adult child still refuses to follow the rules, you may need to consider whether continued co-living is healthy for anyone involved. Sometimes the most loving choice is setting a timeline for them to find their own place. Your home is not meant to be a stress-filled environment, and it’s okay to protect your peace.

With clear expectations, consistent boundaries, and a written agreement, most households find that cooperation—and harmony—returns far more quickly than expected.